Wow.....

What the hell. I am so annoyed with people right now. Kyle turned out to be an awkward loser who has been annoying the crap out of me. I'm sitting there obviously not in the mood to talk and he has the nerve to ask me why I'm not talking and if I took my medicine that morning. What a dumb thing to say, just because I'm crabby doesn't mean its because I didn't take my meds. Now I find out that Rachel had her 18th birthday and didn't even bother to invite me. Instead she invites Megan my replacement I guess.
Christmas sucked, we didn't even celebrate. I sat at home with my mother all day, I've been on facebook since morning. I've also been taking care of Miranda's dog. I really like doing that it seems like Miranda's dog is the only person happy to see me other than my cat. Doesn't help that I am poor as dirt...I need a job bad

Things are looking up! Kinda..

Took my senior pictures! Aspen is amazing. Although the man that took them was a little creepy. He said I looked pretty and that I could be a model and it was fun taking picture of me..I hope he was just being friendly. I made two stamps in art club, both woodgrain of course. My favorite pattern! I also made some really good tie-dye! Art club is a lot more fun this year than it was last year. I've been taking Celexa, which has been making me super stoned. I've also made quite a few new friends. We go out to lunch..I know the only reason we hang out is because I let them smoke in my car, but I really enjoy hanging with them. I've even made some money off of them for gas. I'm so excited that sociology and government are almost over! They are the worst classes ever. Don't get me wrong Seefeld is the greatest teacher ever, sociology is just the most boring subject I have ever come in contact with. I just suck at government haha. I also have become friendly with a guy in my chinese class. I am starting to wonder about him though. Like what is wrong with him? He is shy, sometimes mean. He never answers my texts and ignores me and then once in a great while he is super talkitive and really awkward. I liked him at one time but as soon as I heard him talk I was like....wow. Gerr I don't know. Annoyance

Celexa

I was put on this new drug called celexa. I have been feeling stoned for a while. My eye sight is fading in and out, I'm tired, yawning, antisocial, no concentration and my weight has plummeted to 110 pounds. I haven't weighed 110 pounds since freshman year. Multiple people have asked me what is wrong with me. How do you tell someone the reason your stoned is because your taking this drug prescribed for you?

So, okay I have a lot to talk about. I gave that black boy who liked me another girls phone number. Turns out he only dates white girls but I can't stand him because he can't understand me! It is super annoying and he wont admit that he doesn't understand me. But now I actually like this one guy, first time! Yay! I never have really gotten a crush until now lol. He doesn't talk a whole lot but from what he has said I think he has a sense of humor. He has a girlfriend though:(. Plus I don't think he likes me very much, I can't tell. I added him on facebook on monday or tuesday but he still has not added me back. I told him I added him too..so yay me:(
Next I went to HuHot with Miranda and Emily. That was super fun and I had a great bit of ranting with Miranda lol I felt kind of bad that Emily was left out of the conversation most of the time though. I tried to include her..Miranda didn't even attempt to converse with her unless it was asking her about her culture. I found out both Emily and I are intrested in dykes though...for two very different reasons. I actually really enjoyed Emily's company, although sometimes it is hard for me to understand her accent.
I have other things to say but I really don't know how to put what I am feeling into words................................I don't know. I'll figure it out, eventually..

he wanted me to send a sexy picture of myself...*sigh* you lost me there bud. Better luck next time.

Now I'm nervous! I like this guy but I don't want anything to happen with him..I always feel like I'm too uncomfortable to be with anyone. *sigh* So embarrassing

LOL Glasheen!

So the same guy comes and sits on my lap and Glasheen screams out "THAT IS INAPPROPRIATE! GET OFF HER!!" LOL funny!

I gots a little thing going on with a guy!
..There is nothing like sitting in class while five other girls watch you get a massage by a dude!That was too funny:)

Uhh!

I hate how things are going! I'm driving by myself now which is really scary. I have no concept of when to turn or timing. I almost got hit today because I turned when I wasn't supposed too which scared me so I ran over the curve. I am never ever turning unless I get the green arrow! I really want to get a CAUTION: BAD DRIVER sticker to go on my bumper. I feel so bad I have almost gotten into two accidents because I keep cutting people off

That and today Hugh hugs me in the hallway, which in itself is slightly embarrassing, and Jordan gives me this look (which makes me blush even more!) and yells out "Is he your boy toy" while he is walking away! So I'm freaking out like UHH! and Jordan says "She's blushing!" over and over again..I didn't dare look back. How embarrassing!

I did manage to score this little number though It's a magnetic locket made from a recycled car part. I just have to wait for it in the mail!

I also went to fleet farm (rare) to get my keys done., I got stuck with the nastiest set of car keys ever and a tye-dye house key. Get this I thought they had to make keys with a mold! In actuallatity they are just key blanks they cut:(. It takes a minute and only costs up to $3! I also came across this 4 foot long bluegill pillow fish LOL! I bought it obviously. I might post a picture later..

Anyways..

Not even a good week

This has been the worst week in a long time. My father got the wrong windshield for my hideous maroon car. Now my mother is saying I'm not responsible enough for a car. This would never have happened if I got the car last weekend like I was supposed too! Plus my mother thinks I'm a miserable bitch with an unbearable attitude..which I am but that is not the point! Seriously I don't even know I'm making her feel unhappy and one afternoon I get this note. Am I that ridiculously horrible that she is unwilling to talk to me in person? Is she scared of me?
Today! Wednesdays are going to be my least favorite day. SSR is awful. What a waste of my time. We already have a shortened day why dedicate a whole 15 minutes to reading! Plus art club is going to be centered around art fest. This whole year we will spend our meetings making bottle cap necklaces and hemp. Senior year sucks.

Terrible Fail

It didn't work out like I predicted it wouldn't. We were talking about it..How we are too different..how I thought he was..bland..I just didn't know what to say..My internet connection timed out and when I got back on he had blocked me. I told him I was sorry I hurt his feelings and I tried to warn him. I tried..It's going to be so awkward at art club. I don't know if Joyce or Kristin will talk to me anymore..I just don't know anymore and I know this is my fault.

I need more cats!

Uh it seems like all my posts for a while are going to be about Adam Budge! He is really great..but really I have nothing to talk to him about. I'm not an interesting person..I hate keeping the conversation going..none of my friends could carry a conversation on if they tried and I hate always doing it..so I just stopped trying. Also I don't talk to boys anymore lol! Boys and I have nothing in common..except thongs..Like how I wear them and how Budge likes them?? I'm really skeptical how he is going to make this work. And how he can find value in a person who barely even likes her own mother. Especially since he is dumping his girlfriend because she has trust issues when I have trust issues that are more than likely worse than hers. Like to loosly quote Adam...I wouldn't even need to throw them in order to figure out how much I would trust them. Like he is just saying all these things he doesnt want/like and all I can think is oh..yea I am going to do this and I am this and oh I don't think I can handle that. I'm not like other girls! I'm shallow, harsh, unpassionate, immature, awkward, negative, pessimistic

In my mind it doesn't matter if I like a person it matters if it is going to work out. I have less than a year left of school, no classes with him..I'm lucky if I see him once a week. Plus he is two years my junior. At least he didn't lie about his age to get into my pants like Hugh...shoulda changed your fb little buddie!
Like I know I can be Valeries friend cause she is always in art club and takes the time to talk to me when I dont
and I can be Mirandas friend cause I'm good friends with her mother and our mothers get along
People like Ally, Jessica, Rachel ect. I will only be friends with them for a semester so I wont attempt to establish any social interaction outside of class
Seriously all this crap goes through my mind when choosing friends. I'm already starting to break away from people like Miranda and them cause I know we will lose contact after senior year..I'll most likely shutdown my facebook and stop answering texts after I graduate. I have no plans to keep in contact with these people. They mean nothing to me after graduation. I mean this may make Valerie mad cause she wants to have a meaniful relationship but I just can't, I don't know how.

I feel like psychologically I'm not as developed as I should be. Like shouldn't I be boy crazy or something? Shouldn't I be going out with friends? I know that I have trust issues and I know I push people away. I shouldn't do this but I do. I've even started to do this knowingly! I don't know if I can be in a relationship? I have trouble with non-romantic relationships how the hell am I suppose to deal with someone who expects that much more of me. How am I ever going to trust anyone? My father has left me, friends have dropped me..everyone that has ever meant anything to me has disappointed me. So why should I be anything to anyone else.. That is probably why I don't care about people. People are way to open. I mean crying when your friend moves or feeling sad for a person when something happens. Are you kidding me! Really? Or people that say really awkward things like romance quotes, pet names, sweet dreams or like oh baby I miss you so much..Give me a break! Really anti-romance!! Gerr poor Budge lol

Thoughts?

I wonder why I can never stay with the same group. Lately I have just been wandering around by myself. Why do people stay with the same friends for years? The only reason I have managed to stay friends with people is by rarely talking to them. Why get attached to a friend when they are going to drop you? People don't think this will happen but it always does...Maybe I was raised this way? In my mind you have your inherited traits and you're upbringing. Is it o.k. to believe that your parents messed you up? That maybe if they didn't breed I wouldn't have such social awkwardness? I don't even know what to say to people! What I think is normal is extremely offensive. I say something I think is totally harmless and it blows up in my face. Why don't I know what is right and wrong? Shouldn't I have learnt this at a young age? Sometimes I think about not talking at all. But then my facial expressions are awkward too. I am just looking around and people think I am being rude. I wish I could just hide. I hate what Im doing and who I am. I cant seem to stop this crap. Why do I act like a stupid retard around people? Maybe because I think acting sad is unaceptable? No one like being around a negative person..Sometimes I wonder why I was put on this earth?

Unique? Special?? Space Alien???

I wish I wasn't so different. I wish it wasn't so obvious I am so different. People notice, teachers notice. My government teacher noticed in one class. She knew I was the odd one out. The outsider. She called me an anarchist. My shrink called me a space alien. My mother tells me things about my past. What teacher's say about me. How I am a delinquent. Why can't I be like normal delinquents? Normal delinquents do drugs and get in trouble with the law. I'm just odd. I say stupid things without thinking, I have awkward interests, I like being the clown. Should my mental disability be classified separately from the rest of the retards? Should my behavior have it's own branch. Maybe I am a space alien. Maybe I should crawl into a hole and bury myself alive? Would anyone care? Anyone other than my family. Would my friends notice? I wouldn't notice. People move on, no ones going to remember me after high school. I doubt I would keep in touch. I push people away, the upkeep of having friends is to much work. So many questions. Will my life get better? Or worse?

Stuffie Swap

What I sent :)And I sent them with snacks :D

I have nothing to write about!

All I'm doing is practicing driving and I'm not getting better..in fact I'm getting worse!

Anyways I'm really just dying under pressure these days! Which sucks cause my whole face is breaking out in zits. I just recently completed a stuffie swap. I'll post those after my swap partner gets them. Which brings me to my swap partner who also happens to be the organizer. She has been gone for 4 days! You have a responsibility bitch. Then I have my pick and choose swap plus my post secret swap.

Other than that school starts soon! Gah I am not ready. I haven't even taken senior pics. Haven't schedualled them or anything. I'm really just not into the whole school stuff. Prom, dances and senior pics are not on my list of things to do.

And I really want this bag! But it's to small and I hate the blue :( I love faux bois!

MOMMY HACK!!!

Sneaking in the back door, poised at the keyboard fingers FLYING!!! Hacked by Mom!!!!

PAYBACK!

Chelsea hacked into my blog the other day; now it's my turnnnnnnnnnnnn :D



Shoulda logged out, Chels.
:P





<3miranda

Craftster inspired stencils!

A few of my fav projects on here! I had to reproduce them!!

First off from ajmaley original http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=233168.0
The cool thing is that it makes a scary face when it glows in the dark! I can't take pics of glow in the dark paint so you'll have to imagine it while looking at the template.
Lastly from RachelKristin original http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=259081.0
Not that great considering I melted the lining on it (not thinking doh) but the size is perfect! I still like her's better though..sad she doesn't sell them

*tear*

I cannot stand it anymore! I'm breaking down!! Why can no one help me!!!

..sigh
I don't know what to do, doctors can't help me. Am I cursed with stomach pain for the rest of my life?

Kitty cat fight

I told Kitty she was an obnoxious lesbian today. Which she is. The lesbian part is a joke we play, although I think it's starting to get old since she is still standing in the doorway (of the closet) She won't admit she's full lesbian. I'm guessing the obnoxious part got to her..
Anyways she gave me the silent treatment, which I think is extremely juvenile. She sits behind me in drivers ed and refused to talk to anyone so she writes a note saying she's mad at me and sticks it behind my head. In my opinion someone who wants to act like a 5 year old girl about something can suffer a couple days without an apology. Like she is the only one who has problems. Sadly for our 'friendship' I don't necessarily care if we're friends. That makes me sound so evil but I really don't get any attachments to friends. I find it odd to cry or miss a friend when there gone. My old therapist told me it had to do with my fathers absence in my childhood life..

Which reminds me I may have to go back to a therapist to learn to manage me anxiety better. No drugs for ME! AKA I always want to flee crowded areas when its quiet. We'll find out when I go to the doctors for my peeing problem on friday. IM PEEING CONSTANTLY *SIGH*

Great Day!

Again no pictures:(
O.k. so I was on break and had my money out for the candy machine. This kid I have never seen in my life swipes it and pockets it. So I'm like really you took my money I should at least get a lap dance. He gave me this "air dance" so I'm like bitch give me back my money. So we start this game of cat and mouse and he totally wipes out. Otherwise I wouldn't have caught him, lol I was sliding all over the place in my shoes. Luckily I was wearing pants..:/ So many times I've wanted to kick ass in the wrong outfit.. anyways so I get him by the shirt. I go and grab for the pocket and the kid freaks out like I was diseased with herpes! So I get my money back get my snack and he attempts to steal that too haha!

OMG I CANNOT WAIT TO GO TO THE LAKE!

In responce to my post Crazy

OMG TWO NIPPLES FOR A DIME HAHA

Crazy

OK so the guys name is Hugh lol. He is 17 and a junior. We don't have a lot in common though. He reminds me a lot of my father in that he likes mechanics. Which is sad because I have no clue about anything automobile related.
But funny thing you know that nasty habit I have about shoving things in my bra? Well usually its not coins because there small lol. (Which is stupid since it always looks like I'm packing on my left side. aka right hand reaches to other side) But I had no pockets so I shoved them in there and when I go to take a shower. I strip down-forgetting that they were in there-and they all tumble out. Then to top things off I had 4 indentations of coins on my boob! haha I didn't look at the change but I can tell from the pictures (yes I took them..no I'll spare you the pictures haha) that it was two nickles, one penny, and one dime:D *cheeky grin*

NEWS FLASH! I'M GOING TO THE LAKES!

I rode the city milk bus! 2%:)

First day of drivers education. Some kid named Hugo (he was wearing orange..plus yes I know Hugo is an awkward name) likes me. He's 17 and a total bad boy (at least that's the vibe I'm getting). I like haha. Anyways the simulators are not up to par. I was thinking I would be able to steer the vehicle on the screen. That was not the case.
On to the amazing news. I rode the city bus. My lesbian friend said she was riding and of course I want to ride..but I never knew how too:D. So that is a picture of me being a geeker riding in the city bus that looks like a milk carton.
Life long dream to ride a city bus that looks like a milk carton...check!

To the park

Went out today with the gang. I hang out with this group way to much:( I don't want to be like Nicole Meyer's drones. AKA I would like another group to hang out with. Not like Rachel (our team leader in my opinion) would ever treat us like Nicole treats her friends. I always knew she was going to be shallow but I had no idea her friends would put up with her neglect. Funny story when we were friends (2nd through 8th)the popular girls always came over to me to tell me to get Nicole to leave them alone lol! As soon as someone more popular than them(friends) is in the room she(nicole) totally ignores them(her friends). ..uhh anyways:/ I only took one picture of my pals at the park here it is: The others are on Kaitlins camera

That is the most nausiating thing I have ever been on. It's fun for two seconds. So we left and went to spider park. This dude was sun bathing in the park haha! I was watching him and all of a sudden he pulls up his trousers haha nude sunbathing at a childrens park. He was in his truck bed so we didnt see anything:(

For the love of freezer paper!

When I was a lil tyke I started my journey with stenciling. It was time to pass down my craft to a less fortunate soul. Fortunately my younger acquaintance, Valerie was interested in learning this sacred craft. It all started with this rose. Nothing special.
That initiated a fixation of freezer paper crafts! A bicycle pouch for the swap. Will soon add tire pulls on the strings I plan on putting in lol.

Attempt at reverce stenciling. Not as good as Vals..
Bus ticket pouch anyone? Work in progress..

3 days and I'm 18

I am so sad. I think I might have broken my phone! I was walking to work when I got caught in the rain ha ha smart, so I started running and it fell out of my pocket and sat on the sidewalk for an hour an a half! I wanted to leave so bad. Plus I got kicked out of the nursery because it wasn't checked for fire safety so I had to babysit out in the lobby with no toys. Which reminds me I fell in a puddle on the way there to so I had to take my pants off in the bathroom and ring them out..wonderful.

So I am going to Hooters with my pals before I leave tomorrow. I'm excited because I have always wanted to go. I plan on having another party with my other friends when Miranda comes back. First birthday with friends ever!

I'll post a picture with me and the hooter girls sometime. lol

Long Post

So now I am in summer English. I have Guthrie and she is so hard. I couldn't get my hands on some paper so I go in that morning to ask her to print it out but she told me to wait until after presentations. So I did and when I asked after she said it was no longer worth points. So technically she screwed me out of 200 points. To think she says she's never failed a soul all by herself when she failed 35 seniors this year.

Another thing yesterday I hung out with the gang and one of my friends was all over me. It was so weird I felt all lesbianish. Then we were all laying out on the tramp shooting at a basketball hoop and she had me put my head on her shoulder and another friend was on the other side of her plus another girl right next to her with there heads together. It was so weird. Of course I wasn't feeling all that well in the first place, I had a lot of coke so I had a really full bladder lol, then it's like Chelsea cuddle me hiney haha. That and my coworker texted me and asked me out. It's a she by the way! Wow I am really attracting the ladies.

On to the crafts:

A practice piece for the shrink plastic swap (way cuter in person)

A pendent for a swap. I am swapping with a woman and she adores her baby. Actually it's the only pictures she has on her FB. It's a work in progress

Practice rings. In order first one is to wide (faux bios in purple), Band aid(perfect), and the last one came out kind of wonky but it fits my bony finger.

Finally what I am currently working on! I got a book courtesy of a Marissa! Cute Stuff by Aranzi Aronzo

My bug bag all done except for the zipper!

Here I finished the bag in the book. But I want to add the 'munky' chain applique from the book. I'll put the finished product up if I ever finish it lol.

My birthday is in 6 days!

This stupid kid has called me a 'slut','fag', and 'cunt' and I am extremely offended. I am a really defensive person. I swear if I see this kid in the hall and he makes one move to interact with me I will blow up in his homophobic face!

Not to mention I'm off my meds and it's that time of the month. I think a lot of people would be surprised I'm not on my usual cocktail of drugs. One day I just stopped taking them, and before you go ranting yes I know it's dangerous. I just don't care. If the mother refuses to put me on A.D.D medication because it's harmful depression medication must also be harmful therefore I am refusing to take it.

Although I have been having problems with her lately because of her stomach surgery I still suppose I love her very much lol. She has been on my tail constantly because I am such a slob. Which is all the time haha. That is her and I when I was a babe. I was so smiley when I was little. Where did that go? I suppose one doesn't see my ongoing battle with depression because of it's situational qualities. Only at home do I express my true feelings(ahh poetic drama). I was such a loner at some point in time that I got so sad. I never want to be that alone ever again *sigh* (cut to me being slightly less awkward)

On to crappy news. My father switched from Harley Davidson to a Big Dog Motorcycle. Funny part is he got it off of eBay and may have to pick it up in Florida. When I called him last night, his illegal immigrant girlfriend picked up, I told him to pick me up a sexy bathing suit in Florida haha. His bike is called a Big Dog Ridgeback and it only has one seat! Just to show how big of a motor nerd my dad really is here is a picture

I'm a girl and he bought me my own Arctic Kitty Cat. I was one in this picture, he bought me an Arctic Cat Scooter on my first birthday too lol. Arctic Cat was his first obsession then Harley and now I suppose Big Dog is his next.

I'll ttml I am supposed to be working haha. Guthrie hurah hurah

I had no idea

This guy writes this comment that he "came" on one of my more cutsey/sexy pictures. Then when I told him it was spelled different he said:"no its not, thats just how illiterate nigga's spell it. and homo's. and women. because they are educated stupid." I copied that strait from facebook. I almost died. First of all why would he say women were 'edjucated stupid' to a woman? Second I am for gay and lesbian people being together. I am extremely touchy on the subject. Even someone using the word gay to describe a masculine looking female pisses me off. Jane did this once while talking to me and I blew up. She called this woman from lady foot locker gay because she was manly and rude. I hate it when people do that! My cousin is gay and he is the coolest guy I know. Plus I may even be slightly gay. I am not sure yet. Uh it just makes me so mad. How could someone be so cruel.
Although I could see where he could be raciest. Even if we don't want to attmit it we are all still raciest. Not as bad as our ancestors but still raciest. Although I don't see why everyone thinks this is a white thing. Black people are probably more raciest than white people..except down south where supposedly everything is messed up. Although unlike us black people have a reason to hate white people. Dang I hate white people. It's funny because I have a lot of black friends and they are so much nicer and into the same things I am. Take a sewing class some time you get to meet a lot of cool kids.

Uh wow long rant. Thank goodness no one reads this. It's nice to have some sort of diary that never gets lost or ripped. well ttml

Blogger is getting boring

Sigh. So bored of this site. Writing for my own enjoyment

Only one final until I get a 2 week break from school. Then it's off to summer school and on my b-day dad's going to give me his car so I can stop relying on the friends. It's so sad because none of them can say no.

From what I remember of the last time I posted I went to Kathryn's house twice. She shot me 17 times close range with an airsoft gun. I went out to eat with the gals yesterday and with Jenna today. I'm going to try and hang with Alex before she's shipped off to gov school. :)She is the biggest nerd (she thinks she's all cool ha ha)

So I'll be busy with that and now I have a swap I plan on doing. Yay crafts

I HIJACKED A TOILET!

Since I've written Laurel has slept over AT MY HOUSE! and I had a photo shoot with Valerie. It was fun Val almost crashed into a sign in the middle of the road. I was her theme and it was a lot of fun. I still insist I am not photogenic so I'm sure the pictures will look like crap but it was fun hanging with Val.

Now on to the toilet. So Kathryn calls me up and was like THERE'S A TOILET BY CHET'S HOUSE! Previously we talked about how I thought it would be really funny to have a toilet so I was psyched. I finally convinced the mother and we (Kathryn and I) drive in the middle of the night to jack this toilet from some persons house. I'm storing it in my garage until I clean it. It is a really nice toilet..like never used. These people also threw out new doors and cabinet doors. They were all new never used. The ignorance of some people!

The Force Lost

First I hung out with Kathryn, she's cool. We went to pick up the tickets, the cheetah market and then we judged people on facestat.com. It was really fun but she gave me really caffeinated pop so I had to pee a lot lol. I also got to meet Bob her punching bag. The girls said I punched like a girl lol!

1-5 loss yikes. Mike Lee seriously let one go in, He was crouched in the corner like he was crying and they just shot it in like no one was there. I was pissed. Anyways afterwords we went to Johnny Corinno's (Rachel, Marissa, Kathryn, Kaitlin, Liz, Jenna and I) and we had this really nice waiter. Marissa and I shared a salad because I knew I couldn't eat it all lol. So my bill was $4.79. I liked him so much I gave him a 104% tip (for real I calculated it in the car). I wrote on my bill "to my sexy waiter Brendan". Then of course everyone made me leave cause they were embarrassed.....But Liz was in the bathroom and when she came out she said he was smiling when he read it. He was so cute. That and that Seth kid from my web design worked there and he's like" cough Chelsea Kaiser" I think he likes me..sadly for him I don't date. He's cute but..yea lol.

Anyways I came home at 12 at night went and took so pictures from facebook to photoshop and went to bed. And that was my Friday.

So Many Pictures!

So I got an eye infection. Attractive:

So I got these glasses:

I was so excited about my glasses I made some purses:

Own Design
Simplicity 2806 Bag A
Simplicity ....forgot
I found this cute button at Hobby Lobby
I fell in love with this fabric lol

Oh and this is Marsha. Rachel gave her to me from Chicago! It's cuter than Alex and Nicole's prom pictures!

Sinus AND eye infection. Oh my!

Have I written about the time I almost had to wipe some girls butt? I was at work and this kid came over to me and said a girl in the bathroom needed my help. So I go look and the door is completely open and she's sitting there. I'm like "........". Supposedly she cant wipe her own butt so her mother does it. I'm like "show me how your mom does it" she showed me and I'm like "wonderful now flush, pull up them pants, and don't forget to wash bye!" haha.

I got glasses too! I figured out why glasses seemed to look so bad on me. My face is too small. the average adult sized lens is between 51-55. I take a 46! That and my pupil distance is 29 mm. I think average is somewhere in the forties. I tried looking it up but couldn't find a definitive answer.

Anyways gotta go. Loved Nicole and Alex's prom pictures! SO CUTE!!

I LOVE MY NETI POT

You pour salt water into one nose and it comes out the other side! It works wonders for my sinuses!!

GROSS PIC!!!

Happy National Marijuana Day/ Hitler's Birthday

Hmm what did I randomly do since the last time I posted..

Prom was on Saturday..I obviously didn't go but I saw the pictures on facebook. Those were..wonderful. I also got summonsed for jury duty on May 19th. That's lovely seeing I wont even be 18 on the occasion of the trial. Oo I finally went to the mall and got some jeans..I thought I would be wearing the same jeans forever. Who would've thought that of all people I wouldn't have the time to go to the mall lol.

We have a sub today in english class, he didn't look to happy to see me come in 10 minutes after the bell rang. cough.

I also went with my cousin to her slumber party for girl scouts. I thought it was some troop thing so I went in a pair of short shorts in a white t-shirt. That was lovely. I also got my nails painted yellow! Isn't that super, it almost makes the whole trip worth it. That and I saw a girl from my math class and she looked like she was going to hurl when she saw that she knew someone from school at the girl scouts event.

If I remember anything else I'll be sure to write it to myself..to lazy to think any thing new at this point..get me some adderall ma!

Yikes I came into management class to drop off my stuff and Smith my teacher's shirt was so baggy and low cut she bent down and I could see all the way down to her pants! I'm like 'maybe that's not a school shirt, you should try bending down in the mirror before you leave the house.' then I just went to get breakfast.

I've decided to go to Hope church to help my cousins with there homework at daycare. One of them is having a bit of trouble getting his done, you would swear that he was my twin:). That is actually pretty bad in his case since he's not funny and has amazingly terrible social skills. Like worse then my elementary day skills. Those were bad times, I lost a lot of friends that way. I'm afraid he's not even going to make any friends to lose. You know it's bad when they develop creepy facial expressions. Surprisingly I just thought creepy people randomly made those faces because they were born retarded but its the parents fault.

Creepy=uncivilized+ugly/fat+parents

Easter was average

Went over to the cousins house for ham and stuff. The food was disgusting..potato chip bread, potato (may0) salad and pickles. after randomly dying eggs with the brats and playing some diner dash from the Easter bunny I left for a 2 1/2 hour trip to Crookston. Crookston is actually only a 1 1/2 hour long but my grandfather was driving and there were road blocks so I spent my time with them randomly trying to set up their onstar. Once I got to my granny's house I was met with my fathers new girl friend! He refused to admit they were a couple saying, while she was in the bathroom, they were just friends. Although my family is extremely touchy feeling-which people may have guessed-they were glued together. I swear the man has the worst taste in women, she looked like an illegal immigrant. He likes them rough..really rough. Like missing teeth and really long hair. I never thought of it before until my mother brought it up about why she was so quiet. She was invited to meet the whole family, me(the daughter) and my mother ( the ex). My dad didn't even tell grandma he was bringing her!

I went up to Crookston with my grandparents because they were going to see Ted's mother Delia. Supposedly she keeps sticks by her door to beat off predators and went after her daughter once..now, according to my grandma, there's a meat cleaver there.:) The woman is senile she called the police because her daughter 'stole' an outfit from her lol.

Got to love my dysfunctional family....

Valerie Shirt!

THE ORIGINAL

THE STENCIL I MADE IN PHOTOSHOP

THE SHIRT!

I [girraffe] Valerie!

Pixelated love to my bestie Val lol!I love freezer paper! and pixels!!

Snow please go away

I finally got to one of my first screen prints in a while. I decided I didn't like the holes so I covered them up..(a,O,R) Simple but true.
Plus I finally found a use for Winchi! (bought at a Wisconsin booth made in China) He holds a travel drive! Now I just have to figure out how to make him a tall hat.

I hate Applebees!

Applebees gave me a sippy cup cover! Rude!! I can understand giving say a 13 year old a sippy cup cover but a 17 year old! My breasts aren't that small!!! Plus I make up for it with a push-up bra. I was like "excuse me fine sir do I get a straw with this sippy cup." and he said "Oh I thought I put them down for you." The nerve of some people! I'll add a pic as soon as I find my card..I'll mention it in a new post..

Oh by the way Dodge fell of the computer...

OWW!

My arms hurt so bad! My weekend started at 730 in the morning at the church where I work. I babysat from 730 till 330 on Saturday and from 830 to 1230. Then I sandbagged from 230pm to 630ish.
O.k. I'm going to try to explain my weekend job. I went to the church at 730 and drove to some cabins in Minnesota and while the adults had there conferences I watched the kids. They ALWAYS had conferences the only time I got a break was to eat. I've never played so much digdug in my life lol It was an overnight thing and I went by myself:( I didn't know anyone it was sad. Plus I had a room and the toilet didnt work. I come in to go number 1 and I open the door and all the lights were on. So I'm thinking she was there(roomate)..obviously not. So I go to the bathroom, again NUMBER 1, and the toilet didnt flush! It was so embarressing, so I was thinking this woman took a number 2 and left it for me to deal with!! So sadly I didnt have a plunger in the room so I had to tell this big group of guys and three people came in to fix it.. It still didn't work so I'm not sure if it was clogged or just broken. Then the whole rest of the trip all my roomate would talk about was number 2! Then number 2 turned into old ladies that cant wipe there butts and so on. Luckily for me I took some sleepy pills and fell asleep while she was talking haha my bad. ..uhhh horrible weekend lol

I got on the Pointy Kitty Bandwagon

It's a little late to be giving this pattern a go but I've just been so lazy lately..Ok I'm always lazy. To tell you the truth this is my first plush. Cough in the making of ...him or her..I accidentally chopped off a leg. I used puffy paint for his face, paws and markings.

Pointy Kitty Tut
http://weewonderfuls.typepad.com/wee_wonderfuls/store/pointykitty.html

I lied I once made a mole for chemistry class. He had a mullet lol. Anyways I was making a mouse for Dodge too but I ran out of string so I'm like now what? Obviously I make myself some bling and what better bling can you make then bling made of real money!Tut-http://managingstan.com/dollarrings.html

Sadly it barely fits my anorexic finger.:(

FIRST QUILT...almost done

O.k. I finally took up my quilt again..and recently (5 minutes ago) just finished the second mushroom and decided to sew them up.

Sorry for the crappy picture I'm a shaky photographer..and the wii stuff..and the lamps to the left and right(lighting). I was standing on the couch to take it, it's about 6 feet in length and about 3 1/2 feet.
If you notice I messed up on the white shroom and had to make the yellow strip smaller to compensate.

Hmm..what to put

I haven't written to myself in a while. It's hard to even remember everything that happened. I went to my cousin's pine derby race..that was bad. His mother helped him make his car and they had to put the car on the track backwards so it would stay on..After that I went out to eat with Laurel and then to Dairy Queen. The next day I went with her to her brothers basketball game at eight in the morning. We went to target to get some stuff to do and I got a coloring book with letters so Miranda will soon get that.

Laurel is buying the pendent I made!Lol. I'm excited to see it with epoxy, right now it's looking pretty matte. By the way Miranda's mother invited me to another movie and Rica's coming a long! She never told me about it so I guess it was a surprise date:) Supposedly it's a chick flick:|

My grandma came over later on that day. I showed her my quilt I'm making..maybe I'll post it when I get the other pattern done. I want to make something cute but I'm so lazy it would have to be a one day project..unlike my quilt that has six centimeter squares and an 18x18 pattern. Plus there are 2 patterns and the border. Stupid! Yawn losing intrest..ADHD kicking in..must..stop..writing....OH! and.......

Just because I love this picture

RICHARD SIMMONS I LOVE YOU!

Weird Weekend

I just orderd my Richard Simmons famous red bejeweled tank top from richardsimmons.com. I am so excited! This will be a nice collection to my already weird necklaces.

But on to more normal events. I had the weirdest weekend. My friend from Aneta came down and her and I..and her dumb friend went our and about. We went to Discontent and got carded..which has never happened to me there before so we went to the mall and Alex's stupid friend flicked some kid off and was loud and obnoxious the whole time. Of course this riled Alex up which just about killed me. Then we went to alex's house and she had to take her drunk mom to the liquor store. For her effort her mom bought her some cigerettes. Then they had a family smoke break in the kitchen, offered there 8 year old son some and they went off to bed. I was planning on sleeping over because we were playing guitar hero and watching pinneapple express but at the end of the movie I couldn't sleep because there couch smelled so bad of dog I went home at 1 in tho morning and took a shower and washed all my clothes twice the next day. I have slept over at her house but that was when she had her room, which did not smell like dog! Oh yea remeber that project on the walrus I finally did it! Hopefully we have a snow day tom. so I don't have to present..

I find school really obnoxious lately, Mrs. Seefeld was gone for her step fathers funeral and we had a lousy sub so the two most obnoxious girls yelled at everyone to shut up everyday. I was friends with one of them but I didn't know she was such a mean person. It's pretty bad when I think your a jerk. Sure I dislike people but I don't think a lot of people are jerks. Just Greg! Hate him. Anyways at Miranda's house with Shelia I stumbled over everything. I tracked dirt into her house and then the milk I got ninth period spilled in my bag. It was just another one of those days. Shelia said she might take me to a baby shower and then to the sale at Herbergers. We'll see. Until then I should probably announce that I think my coworker is pregnant. Mom does too, about 5 months and she's younger than I am. Thank god I have some smarts and didn't ask her, it be like telling her she's fat. I want to bad though. Oh and I broke a glass clock at work. Who puts a glass clock in the nursery?.. I've been spending a lot of time in the library this semester, I really enjoy going in during ninth period and so far I've read TWO books. Ok so it was not hard reading but they were at least a hundred pages. That and the last couple of days have been so so, Alex Steen always comes in the library. He is such a pussy, he gives me these looks I cannot stand, I find it really hard to tolerate his presence lately. He knows I go to the damn library if he doesn't want to look at me go away, I'm there first I am not leaving.

To get further along since I last posted I should probably talk about recent events. I found a gray hair yesterday! I almost had to call my mom in the middle of class to tell her but just ended up taping it down to show her later. I also stalked Krsitens boyfriend, I couldn't help myself he was crying. I think they broke up..I hope they broke up. That crazy woman should not date, who knows what would happen if they reproduced...

Oh buggers I have to go back to class, I hate it when I loose track of time. TTML talk to myself later...

The Speech

I just gave my speech at the girly scout convention. A bunch of girls set up booths about different things. I don't know how long I talked but my mom didn't seem to thrilled after I was done. I asked her if she was disappointed and she just said she was tired. I can never get a strait answer with her, she's always sugar coating it to make me feel better. Miranda should be proud to here that I'm selling community day tickets with her mom though:). I may have something to report about that tomorrow but I'm sure it'll end with a second date lol.

Oh woh is me. I was thinking last night while preparing my speach and realised it's going to be in a gym. Meaning that there would be a lot of people. I wish I wouldn't have put it off till last minute so I could go to the play with Kaitlin. I have to explain to girls my trip to New York with pictures..I didn't take any. So I searched facebook for some of the other girls photos and luckily there were a few. Thank god it's friday that's all I have to say

Actually I have more to say now
I returned a jazz band folder and met the band teacher..I think he's crazy. He babbled on for 5 minutes and gave me a free coupon book..weird.

Sir Mix-a-lot

I left early from lunch again, I could not handle there talk about cute boys and girly drama. I headed to web design since there happens to be no class at the time (thank god) and started my assignment. I went to record the song but didn't hit record so I sat through a 5 minute song oblivious. I ended up doing versions of baby got back and had to sit through vanilla ice and screamo. Recording took the whole class period so I left and dragged myself to chem and then psych and finally math. This is where it gets intresting. So I left for the computer lab to complete my project I didn't finish and was almost done except for beeping out a word. That word happened to be 'horny' and I could just not bleep out that word. I finally gave up and asked one of the other teachers, sadly he was not framiliar with Theiges's teaching style. So he took out my headphones to find the word and repeated horny horny horny over and over to the people in there and then finally he did get it except it was more like me so bleeep horny. It was one of the most embarressing thing since I acidentally asked Shultz if his mom was an element..sigh damn social skills

I think I am supposed to be writing about the walrus right now in english class for our literary critisim paper. I can't consentrate though because of the Bauch music the sub is playing. I got my Wii last friday finally and got animal crossing and outdoor challenge! My mom got some scuba diving game and we borowed the Wii Fit game from my aunt. I'm 20! I've been trying pretty consistently to get the hang of the remote during my sessions on Animal Crossing but I always end up falling in holes. In Wii Sports I really like tennis though! Back to the present, all I can say about Miller's class is that I can see the subs bra and her three back roles which is discusting, it amazes me how fat people let themselves get. Luckily for me I sit in the back. I got here two minutes early today and there were a few amazed faces to say the least, I've only been on time three times to third period and I can have the whole class confirm it. There have been times I have been ten minutes late to class! I am so lazy I sometimes decided to change into my clothes for tomorrow the night before so I don't have to wake up early to put them on, how horrible is that? You have no idea how long it takes me to put on a shirt in the morning when I'm half asleep. Though I am sure to have more to say later throughtout management I will end in this class while I'm still having a neutral day. Hopefully breakfast will be better lately Smith has been craby about our eating habits around computers. Have no idea why though, the doghnuts didn't seem that bad...

Valentines School Day

I know today is going to be a bland one. Valentines day happens to be one of my least favorite holidays after Thanksgiving and Easter. Valerie was nice enough to give me a kissogram although it was quite embarressing since I had no idea it was coming..and in Miller's class of all classes. Maybe at the end of the day I will have more to say but so far I don't see any boys in tights or girls in valentines underwear so my day is hopefully going well..on to management

I like writing to myself as if someones listening..

Personally why I write on this I don't know. I don't really want anyone to read it and it serves little purpose other than the constant reminder that I am a lonely little nobody. Everyday I walk hall to hall to my depressing classes where no one seem to want to be but me and I sit friendless and daydream my way through another American high school students day. Not to say that a high school experience is anything like mine. I noticed people tend to forget about the crafts classes associating them with art and instead taking those, also I believe management is for the popular people and and webdesign is for sophomores. Why I picked these classes I will never know, I seem to always choose the worst path. I don't even pass any of my friends in the hallways it is so bad. I get to hang out with Kaitlin after school though, one of my only meager interactions with my past social life. (if you could call it that) Now my social life is the boy crazy teeny boppers I sit with at lunch, the really shy girl, Elizabeth which wont shut up about video games and some squirel..and kirby, Mary:(, and Chelsea a girl in my geometry class. Even with all this variety:( of new people it seems it's all down to boys. I don't like talking about relationships and drooling over hot people. People aren't that attractive anyways. Men and women have terrible features that I think are down right discusting, private parts should be covered at all times, it's gross and I don't want to see it or talk about it. I can barely stand my own! Saying this really goes against what I wear and show though, by definition I wear revealing shirts and low waisted jeans and let me tell you know one wants to see my white ass or boobs. I do admit I like to look down at my breast occasionally..cough cough

I'll end this post on two good points for now..until I write again. FAIRWELL!!

I am sitting in the library after a two day leave from school. On monday I stayed home sick and on tuesday I had a eye appointment. My eye appointment went fairly well, I have minimal problems with my left eye but my right eye is getting worse. Supposedly I have a blood vessel on my optic nerve and could go blind. That just adds to the pleasure of my ongoing day. Suprisingly my ongoing cold is doing well too, although I can't tell with the 2 pills I took and the snort of nasel spray.. By the way I tried that Airborne tablets made by a school teacher they are discusting. Who knew lemon lime could taste like herbs. I would write more but I'm lazy..yawn..thank goodness I'm in management, I think I'll take a nap.

Neutral Moment!

You won't see many of these on here and if you do they are about something negative but I have wonderful news! I got featured twice in web design and won one of them. Also my new acquaintance formerly know as Elizabeth but who's name is actually Jason stood up to the obnoxious girl I call Butch. She was making fun of him and he goes "suck my dick!" and she freaks out. Now this is not the type of kid you would expect to hear that from, I would call him the son of Cher and Austin Powers. After he said it though he would've backed down but of course I stood up for him. I told her if I had a dick I would have her suck it too. It was a beautiful moment. *tear* Sadly I accidentally let out I know a bit about video games and now he won't shut up! By the way this is the same kid that watches Kirby and karate chops at his computer..sigh a once nuetral event turned itself into a negative once again.

MANAGEMENT

Right at this minute I am writing about Management while in Management. My teacher Mrs. Smith is the most pathetic teacher. She has no control over her class and people leave all the time with no permission. If I was to leave right now she would not care, if I was to tell her I was going to kill myself she would not care. I'm not saying I would kill myself obviously but really you don't ignore something like that. There are advantages of being in Mangement though, for example if I brought in a soft drink and muffin and set it on this laptop she would not care. If I text openly in class she would not care. I've taken a call in this class and she told the class to stay quiet for me. It was akward because of all the popular kids that are in this class. From this paragraph you can tell that Mrs. Smith is an uncaring person, she refuses to take responsibility and is downright unorganized. As of this moment I just got a text from my north friend Emily..Smith did not care. To explain my involvment with someone from north is quite obvious. In most cases I would not even meet someone from North but I work with her in the Hope Nursery which suprisingly I enjoy doing. Even though it would seem that I would do downright awful with children it just so happens I do have more expeirence than the average whipper snapper. My patients for writing is slowly deteriating so I'm going to wrap up this post with..The End

To explain my eager outlook on life could go on forever. But really what is the past but a mistake? The present is really the important part at this point, or in my case I don't want to look back on the resent past and recall my horrendous mistakes. So saying that I should start in the beginning of the new semester. I think I'll use everyday I blog as a day to explain one class of the day because obviously I have a lot to bitch about.

ENGLISH

As a class schedule goes mine is by far one of the worst. I start my day late to third period(late everyday this semester except twice) in English with Mr. Miller. He jokes and makes a fool of himself and everyone but me laughs hysterically. Have you ever noticed that very few comedians have physical attractiveness? It's because humor is used as a barrier like being the tough guy in elementary school or the book worm in college. Only ugly people and people with low self-esteem use humor in my opinion. Who knows what triggered these defense mechanisms in Mr. Miller and myself but obviously his seemed to be directed towards a positive outlook while mine lacks any enthusiasm. Though my reason for being so down has to do with my families genes and not so much an external factor. I would rather blame it on my childhood trauma. Children should have a stable home structure not one with moving and fighting parents. People have no idea what goes on in a child's critical learning process. I'm sure I will have relationship problems for the rest of my life now but then again who said I was going to get involved anyways?...

Description of Chelsea

This blog is going to be very difficult. I don't care if anyone reads this, personally I am only writing this so I can look back and laugh at myself. To describe who I am in a very clear manor one must need to know I have no humility when it comes to blogging. I have unlimited knowledge about my inner retardation. I have been to a number of shrinks and have learned quite a bit about myself. It all started with my parents Jennifer Oney and Ronald Kaiser. From my mother I got my lack of self confidence, self image issues and messy habits. From my father I received small boobs, a small butt, horrible outlook on life, sharp tongue, rude comments and depression. Thankfully I was lucky and the pansy genes were not passed down to me from my father. Fortunatly because my mother is heavier and I am extremely scared of getting large myself I am constently watching my weight and really care what other people thing of me, which can be either a negative or positive..but in all cases it is a negative. I've used humor my whole life to sheild people from seeing my true colors. Most people don't find depression to be an attractive quality in fact depression makes a person look downright unapprochable. In fact that is exactly what it does, people with depression tend to seperate themselves from there peers for quite a period of time. Usually this means a lack of social skills and low self-esteem. This describes me fully I had extreme depression in my younger years and sepperated myself from my friends and family. Ever since then I have unable to really make close friends, because of how unattached I am and how my depression manufests itself into anger and negative behavior. This probablly resulted because of my move to Fargo, North Dakota in the second grade. It was a hard move, at the time I was attached to my father and leaving Crookston, Minesota made it so I only saw him in the summer. Since then I bearly ever talk to my father or his side of the family. Clearly from this passage it should be noted that I am an extreme attention seeker, which is why I should not be writing this. Even though I have no problem with exploiting my personal information all over the internet I do have problems with actually dealing with the results writing something like this would have on anyone reading this. So please don't mention it or feel bad for me if you do stumble upon this..which I doubt anyone will.