Thursday, September 10, 2009
Thoughts?
I wonder why I can never stay with the same group. Lately I have just been wandering around by myself. Why do people stay with the same friends for years? The only reason I have managed to stay friends with people is by rarely talking to them. Why get attached to a friend when they are going to drop you? People don't think this will happen but it always does...Maybe I was raised this way? In my mind you have your inherited traits and you're upbringing. Is it o.k. to believe that your parents messed you up? That maybe if they didn't breed I wouldn't have such social awkwardness? I don't even know what to say to people! What I think is normal is extremely offensive. I say something I think is totally harmless and it blows up in my face. Why don't I know what is right and wrong? Shouldn't I have learnt this at a young age? Sometimes I think about not talking at all. But then my facial expressions are awkward too. I am just looking around and people think I am being rude. I wish I could just hide. I hate what Im doing and who I am. I cant seem to stop this crap. Why do I act like a stupid retard around people? Maybe because I think acting sad is unaceptable? No one like being around a negative person..Sometimes I wonder why I was put on this earth?
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you were put on this earth to keep dodge entertained... obviously ;)
ReplyDeletei feel really socially awkward too, but instead of saying the wrong thing, i say nothing and stand there looking stupid.
p.s. if you dont want to do the ACT or college or whatever, that's just fine. that road isn't for everyone. i think once you find what you really want to do with your life, you'll go far. i'm just not sure what it is you really want to do :)
I LOLed at that too! xD
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ReplyDeleteI Feel the same way... ALL the time, like somehow I lack the ability to remain silent, and I REALLY lack the ability to shut my big mouth.
ReplyDeletesometimes i just feel like nothing i say or do is right.
im glad to hear that there is someone else out there who shares (at least some of)these sentiments.
Im there
-talker